Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
