five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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