I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
