Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize