would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
someone owes me an orgasm
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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