I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
