I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
