I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
