dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
