dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize