You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
