and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
