i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
