How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
