so that wasnt chicken after all
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
