Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
