I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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