i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
