THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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