Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just puked most of my soul out..
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