So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
