im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
