Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
