Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize