also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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