xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize