Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
