He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
