We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
