We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
where am i from again
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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