I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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