He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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