Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
