my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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