I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
