Kareoke will never be a sober sport
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Semen is not good for contacts.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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