His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
