at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I will be naked everywhere
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
FUCK WHALES
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
