So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
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