I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
