Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
