Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
