I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
