yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
try to milk me bitch
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