Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
