Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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