It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
