I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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