He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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