if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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