So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it was like his penis was on wheels.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
