I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
