that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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