she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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