My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
