So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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