I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize