420 ftw
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
