i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
