fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
