I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
