i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
