Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
50% drunk capacity currently
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
